When you recognize that you’re in one of those really high energy states, all blissed out, (The computer just autocorrected me there and wrote “all blessed out” which is equally true.  :  ) take two of your fingers and tap on your third eye.  That’s the area between your eyebrows just above your nose.  Simply tap there for 20 seconds or so while you feel the feeling of being all blissed out in your body.  This tells the Universe what you’re choosing to accept and experience more of.  It’s like saying, “Yes, bring me more of that!  I’m having that, thank you!”  It’s really fun and it seems like the more I Tap It In, the more I notice and fully experience my moments of bliss, my blessed moments.

Yep, you get what you focus on.

To learn and play with more energy techniques, sign up for and participate in my next Experiential Spirituality Course.  You can find out more about it on my Services page.

Consequently, you’re grappling with the fear and injustice of it all even while you’re trying to be at peace and accept it due to the simple fact that you can’t change it back to the way it was.  Maybe you then feel sad, helpless, angry, alone and afraid.  And that all makes sense.

How do you come to the point where you experience peace and acceptance around something so painful, this new “normal”?

One compassionate, gentle and loving step at a time.  Over and over again.  Be gentle with yourself.

Gift yourself with feeling what you feel, when you feel it and understanding that you’re totally right to feel that way given all that has happened.

Gift yourself with expressing your feelings by talking, crying, journaling, ranting and stomping your feet (when you’re alone or to a compassionate listener ~ just not at somebody else), asking to be held, and doing whatever you need in order to feel safe in the moment.

Give voice to your feelings and let their energy flow instead of holding them bottled up inside of you.  And love them and yourself through it all.

Love yourself through it all.

I’d be honored to help you move through and transform whatever pains you instead of continuing to allow it to weigh you down.

Contact me.

With compassion,

Jill

The truth is that there was one more step nestled between his comment and my feelings.  That step included my beliefs that it’s mean to say something unflattering about somebody, that “big butts” are unattractive and that he was right that I did have a “big butt”.  Without those beliefs on my part, his comment might have just rolled right off of me instead of affecting my self-esteem for many years to come.  In fact, if I had believed that “big butts” were desirable, I would have probably taken his comment as a compliment and felt happy and proud of myself!

So he didn’t create my feelings of anger, sadness and shame.  Instead, my feelings were created by my thoughts and beliefs about his comment.  Knowing and understanding all of that is liberating and empowering.

I control how I feel.

Your words and actions don’t create other people’s feelings.  People create their own feelings based on their thoughts and beliefs.

The belief that what you say or do creates other people’s feelings is not only false, but also debilitating.

When you believe that your words and actions create other people’s feelings, it can keep you from being yourself out of fear of hurting somebody else’s feelings.  So in an effort to keep from hurting someone else, you alter who are in subtle and not so subtle ways.

I maintain that this self-censoring, these alterations, can result in your authentic self being unknown, even by you.  And this lack of being known can cause you to feel unfulfilled somehow or like you aren’t whole.

That’s why I believe that if you want to feel whole and fulfilled, it’s critical to remember the truth:   Your thoughts, words and actions do not create other people’s feelings and theirs don’t create yours.

Until about five years ago, I was unaware of that extra step between that guy’s comment and my feelings.  I believed that what other people felt, thought, said and did caused my feelings and I theirs.

Now that I know that I’m not responsible for other people’s feelings, I’m much more likely to lovingly share my truth.  This shows up as me sharing my preference when asked where I’d like to go out to eat or what movie I’d like to go and see.  It also shows up in things like choosing to spend time with other people only when I want to as opposed to when I think I’m “supposed to” or I “should”.

Living this way puts me in greater integrity with myself.  It’s that integrity, living in alignment with myself, that causes me to feel whole and fulfilled, and hence more peaceful and happy.

So I encourage you to notice the next time that you think or say, “They made me angry, sad, happy, afraid or some other emotion.”  Is it true?  What thought/s do you have nestled between what they felt, thought, said or did and your feelings?  Can you see that it’s not somebody else’s words or actions that cause your peace and joy, that it’s actually your beliefs that create your peace and joy?

It’s not what’s happening out in the world around you that determines how you feel.  It’s what’s happening within you, your thoughts and beliefs, that creates your emotions.

It’s impossible to not be loved because love is what you are.  Yet many of us wander through life basically asking, “Excuse me, will you love me?  Will you?  I’ll jump through whatever hoops you devise, and become whoever and whatever you say I must if only you’ll love me.”

Every thought, belief, feeling, place, event and person is comprised of love regardless of how it looks or seems.  You are love.  He is love.  She is love.  We are love.  It is love.  They are love.

And that love is infinite.  Love flows in an unending stream from everyone and everything, to everyone and everything, and through everyone and everything.  There’s only one thing and it’s love.

That’s why there are no enemies and everyone is on your side.  There is now, always has been and always will be only love.  Your partner is leaving to start a new life?  Love.  Your job is going away?  Love.  You live in fear that you’re not enough, unlovable, bad or wrong?  Love again.

It’s all love.

So take the time to rise above whatever situation is causing you grief right now and to find the love in it.  I assure you that it’s there.

What if instead, you made or believed that everybody was right, even yourself?  Because that’s the truth:  Everybody is right.

It’s impossible for you or anybody else to do anything wrong, because everything is for your highest good.  When you operate, live and see the world from this perspective, deep peace is invited into your life.

Similarly, sharing the love that wells up from within you will not diminish the strength or quantity of your love. In fact, I’d maintain that sharing your love does the opposite ~ it amplifies it within you.

So I encourage you to be the love you wish to see in the world.

What do you choose?

Namaste,

Jill

If the only conclusion you draw from a life experience is a negative one, I believe that you’ve missed the point, because experiences are always positive, supportive and empowering.  The Universe, God, Love, or Spirit never works against you.

Everyone and everything is on your side to help you be happy, wise and fulfilled.

If all it took in order to be happy, wise and fulfilled was the experiences themselves, then the older anyone got, the happier, wiser and more fulfilled they’d be.  But that’s not the case.  It takes more than simply amassing experiences to live life well.  It takes moments of quiet reflection on how everything you’ve experienced has benefited you.

Without such reflection, life lacks depth and meaning:  It’s superficial.  And the world can seem like a hostile place.

Through individual life coaching, I help you to reflect on the events of your life and to uncover new possibilities regarding those events, to know your Self.  Contact me to experience the gift of coaching and to start embracing all of life.

Blessings,

Jill

It becomes problematic when the things you’re trying to control are outside of your control. So basically, anytime that you’re trying to manage the environment, situations or other people you’re out of luck. They’re totally outside of your power. While you can do things to influence everything else, it’s very draining, exhausting even.

I’ve said it before and I’m sure that I’ll say it again (being a self-proclaimed control freak): The only thing you can control is yourself. And you already know how difficult or even impossible that can seem at times! Like when you’ve resolved to eat more whole foods and find yourself reaching for chocolate cake to comfort yourself yet again…

What can you do short of running around trying to micromanage the rest of the Universe and policing your every thought, word and action? I invite you to try bringing love, gentleness, compassion and nurturing to that part of yourself that feels threatened and afraid.

Simply recognizing that you feel threatened and afraid is a huge first step. Then you can bring that love, gentleness, compassion and nurturing into play. Ask yourself what you’d like, what you can do in this moment in order to feel safer. Then give it to yourself just as you would a small frightened child.

So the next time that you find yourself trying to control the uncontrollable, use that as an indicator that you’re feeling threatened or afraid. Then stop and ask yourself what you’re afraid of. Taking action based on your actual fear is dealing with the cause instead of the symptom, and it tends to be more effective.

It’s not the circumstances of your life that make an event or a day awesome or horrible.  It’s your perspective or perception relative to those circumstances.

Everything that I do is geared toward teaching you to consistently and repeatedly listen to and take action based on your heart, so that you live your unique life instead of the one you think you’re supposed to live.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”  Oscar Wilde

Listening to your inner wisdom is a skill that can be learned. Like a muscle, your ability to hear your inner wisdom is strengthened through repeated use.

Your best thinking got you to where you are right now, and the thinking that created the problem can’t solve the problem. Because I believe both of those statements, I teach you to think differently than you have been by getting out of your head and into your heart. This heart centered approach to life allows you to open to new ways of viewing yourself, others and the world, and to treat yourself with the gentleness normally reserved for a young child.

So much more is available to you simply by making this one radical shift out of trying to figure things out with your head and into trusting the wisdom offered by your own inner guidance system, your heart. A heart centered life allows for greater self-love, fulfillment, peace, joy, integrity and alignment with your values. Flow instead of push. Allowing instead of making it happen.

Why not just shift into your heart space on your own without help or support? You could. But if you haven’t already, you probably won’t. My experience has been that I need somebody else to be accountable to and to guide me through my most confusing or pain filled places.

That’s why I consistently use a life coach myself. I am coached to be propelled to new heights more quickly and easily than I could be on my own. My coach is the catalyst to my growth, just as I’m the catalyst to my clients’ growth. Because I always choose to grow, I continuously open to new possibilities, and to new ways of thinking and being.

It’s my greatest honor to support you on your journey. Are you willing to begin? Contact me and together we’ll discover what’s possible for you as it unfolds.